01 Feb 2022
When I was 25, everything fell apart: my prestigious graduate scheme employer told me that things weren’t really working out, and suggested that it was perhaps time to look elsewhere, muttering something about ‘square pegs in round holes’. Looking back, that relationship was doomed from the start but in my final year at university I knew I had to make some kind of plan, and with no ideas of my own, I found myself doing what everyone else, and my parents, seemed to think was the right thing to do.
Completely floored by my boss’s announcement, I took my P45 and left the building. I moved back in with my parents and signed on for unemployment benefit. My social life was non-existent, as all my friends were, it seemed, living the dream in London and I had no money, so couldn’t keep up. Oh and I split up with my boyfriend. At the time, I felt that I alone was an abject failure and this really took its toll on my mental health and my self-esteem. But with hindsight, this was clearly a quarter-life crisis, a very common experience for those in the mid to late twenties, and the chances are that a number of my friends were going through something very similar at the same time. If only I had known!
We have long been aware that our life stage and age have a bearing on our career choices. As we travel through life, our priorities evolve, the personal demands on us change, and we understand ourselves better. We also get better at making decisions.
The choices that we make when we are young are not always good ones.
We don’t really know ourselves very well, and we haven’t yet had much life experience, so find it hard to make good predictions and even our brains themselves are not fully developed till our mid-20s. Particularly difficult are the career decisions that our young people need to make so early.
Career decisions are a good example of what academics call multi-attribute decisions – those where you have to compare a large number of options on the basis of a large number of criteria. These kinds of decisions are known to be particularly difficult, and the challenge is compounded, in the careers field, by the fast pace of change in the labour market, the limited information available and the uncertainty of the outcomes.
Our current education system (UK) seems to be making everything particularly trying for young people. The school league tables, and the tuition fee-induced transactional nature of our university system means that there is a huge, arguably disproportionate, emphasis on exam grades – often at the expense of anything else.
This has resulted in a dramatic decrease in the proportion of young people who have part-time jobs or get the chance to volunteer.
Without these kinds of experiences, young people find it particularly difficult to know what work is like, what they like about work, and what an employer might like about them.
University students sometimes have very narrow ideas of what kinds of jobs they ‘ought’ to be doing, and alongside their record levels of anxiety, and limited self-awareness, students can be reluctant to visit their university careers service until the very last moment. With no real time to make these significant choices, students often fall back on what they know, or what is easy, and end up pursuing careers that their parents, school, department or friends think are sensible.
Fast forward a few years, and our young people, in their mid to late twenties are becoming much clearer about what they want, who they are, and what kind of work does, or does not suit their skills and values. And very often, they see that their needs are not being met by their current employers. Alongside this process of re-evaluation, they are also making comparisons. They compare themselves with others – or at least with what they think other’s lives are like, and they compare their current selves with the expectations their younger-selves had for their future. They imagine that all their peers are happy, fulfilled and in well-paid, meaningful jobs. And they might remember their youthful aspirations of financial security, romantic fulfilment and a tireless social life, which may all seem a far cry from their current spartan existence. This can all take a toll on their self-esteem.
For some, this quarter-life crisis can result in anxiety and depression, insecurity, confusion and isolation.
Research tells us that young people in the throes of their quarter-life crisis can best resolve things by taking some time out to think, by identifying their values, and what they want from life, and they find the whole process easier if they feel supported – by friends and family, and others going through something similar. Understanding that this is a common and normal life-experience is also helpful.
Read more on the Career Innovation website.